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I'm really glad to hear you made it through such a challenging time in your life. Your strength and determination are incredibly inspiring. I'm curious to know more about your healing process. Did you work on identifying and addressing the root causes of your pain, perhaps through therapy or counseling? Sometimes, personal issues can stem from our familial relationships. Did you find that to be the case in your journey? I'm interested to learn more about how you managed to overcome your struggles and achieve the peace you have today.
It was a long winding journey. Generational trauma is definitely a real thing.
I tried a lot of things, from therapy to drugs to sex clubs, was grasping at straws, trying to understand what was happening.
It was a complicated and personal journey, but my biggest breakthrough occurred when I surrendered to the healing powers of my body and spirit.
I had to just stop and do nothing, and just allow all the hurt, shame, and fear come up to be processed. My ego fought like hell to keep them suppressed.
My mind was a storm of self-abuse, thoughtforms that told me that I was worthless and to be destroyed. I had to learn how to accept them and return to my heart (my emotional center) and just practice sitting with my feelings. Over time these thoughts dissipated, and I saw that they were driven by unrecognized emotional energy and signals from my body.
I was fortunate that I managed to create a situation that allowed me to lie fallow for a long time to heal.
There were many layers, but the crux of my issues was being severed from my authentic self. This happened because I grew up in a household with a lot of emotional abuse and coercive control, to the point where I suppressed myself and created a persona to survive.
If you read accounts of cult-abuse survivors, it’s like their real self is always trying to break through but they have been trained or mislead into ignoring themselves.
My experience was very similar.
I could write more about this, but pivotal points were recognizing that I had agency, learning how to trust my body and emotions over my ego, and understanding that at our core, we are love.
Had to learn how to love myself unconditionally basically; a constant practice.
And a big part of the self-love journey was learning how to truly take care of myself. How to eat properly, how to rest, cutting out toxic people from my life, becoming clear with my boundaries, forgiving myself, accepting my pace of progress, and so on.
Once I recognized the pain in my heart, I just kept returning to it, and over time that guided me towards the truth.
CTEs are just a nicer, more readable way of writing a subquery. Also, CTEs can be recursive. In Postgres, CTEs can be useful when used with the RETURNING clause. If you're using the same CTE in multiple different queries, then consider creating a view instead. I wouldn’t use a CTE for lookup values, create a lookup table instead.
It sounds like there might be a larger project management issue within your team, though it’s hard to tell from a single example. Features should solve business problems and should come from your clients and/or users and not from engineers. Are your users complaining about your static solution? If not, then why change it? Engineers should work on things that will add value to the business. Arbitrary performance improvements and code rewrites that don’t solve any business issues should be rejected by your project manager.
My suggestion would be to bring this to the attention of your PM. If that fails, then focus on picking up tasks of high value and visibility. Let the “smart” engineers do code rewrites or performance improvements. You’ll have a lot more to show on your resume, feel a greater sense of accomplishment in your work, and will have a greater chance of getting noticed as a star on your team.
That's not really a great counter argument, can you explain why you think time estimates are worthless? Do you prefer story points instead? How do you schedule a project with your clients?
Wall Street “shakes off” losses with massive Congressional investigations, new laws, people jumping out of skyscraper windows, new rules and regulations that greatly limit what they can do.
None of that happens with crypto, which has lost more money in scams than Wall Street has in a decade, despite being a fraction of the size of Wall Street.
