That sounds like a problem with using SQL at all more than a problem with using it for a work queue. And really it's not even a problem with SQL, it's a problem with Python's weirdass DBAPI.
Wouldn't using a basic wrapper like Celery take care of most of that for you though?
That's just the point. People seem to think that because we don't even know how to use the current technology correctly, adding dozens of new alternate technologies would somehow make the situation better. - Then they're surprised that adding all those new cool technologies didn't actually fix the issue(s), probably made those just worse. Because nobody knows how to use the new tools correctly either.
Wouldn't using a basic wrapper like Celery take care of most of that for you though?