Related question: does anyone have personal experience of significantly improving their self-esteem as an adult? Or is your level of self-esteem pretty much fixed as a child and something that needs to be "managed" in adulthood rather than changed?
I strongly encourage some kind of fitness routine or activity. I think a lot of cases of low self esteem come from a mind-body disconnect. And that allows for resentment or even hatred of your own body. That hatred may be subconscious or overt.
Actually engaging in a fitness routine undermines that dichotomy, particularly a skill based one. Coupled with the fact that pretty much everyone treats fit, attractive people way better in their daily lives, you rapidly build up a virtuous cycle of self esteem, fitness, and social approval.
Thanks, that's encouraging. I don't think it's the whole story because I work out fairly hard and still have low self-esteem, but it's good to know that change is possible.
No data to support this but self-esteem can absolutely be improved.
Two major components (there are many more) are:
1) Perceived inferiority (Self-Acceptance)
Everyone benchmarks their own life, success, skills, etc... against another group. Sometimes the choice of benchmark group is unrealistic, sometimes the person is just hanging out with a crowd where they don't really fit, sometimes it's necessary to take a step back and realize that comparisons to others don't really matter.
All of these can be improved by finding a better social circle (fit), attending different group activities, or reflecting on negative thoughts and re-framing.
2) Actual lack of skill/knowledge (Self-Improvement)
If the lack of self-esteem comes from actual gaps in knowledge or skill then the solution is to keep a running list of gaps and make an effort to improve them. A common item here might be fitness. Many people have low self-esteem due to sub par fitness and/or health habits and directly remedy the issue by embarking upon a fitness regimen. Another situation might be feeling incompetent in a specific area of domain knowledge and this one can be remedied through an active effort to read/learn/study and become competent in the troublesome areas.
Being honest with yourself (even if it's harsh), assessing your weaknesses, and working to improve them can go a long way to improve self-esteem.
The biggest game changer is when you realize that success is not the possession of any characteristic or accomplishment but rather the ability to feel authentically.
When you know on a deep somatic level that all of your emotions are valid and sacred and aren't afraid to feel them it brings with it a deep confidence and connection.
I'm glad I scrolled far enough down my 'threads' page to see that you'd replied!
Thank you for the recommendation. I will check out the book and may also take you up on your kind offer to speak directly. Should I use the email address in your profile?
This is a topic of fascination for me, because I think low self-esteem has had a profound effect on my life. I'm interested in exploring any possible techniques for improving it.
