But not something I'd be worried about when it comes to family. I think I can trust them enough for that.
The part that worries me is when people get pressed between a rock and a hard place. It is exceptionally difficult to keep your hands out of the honey jar sitting in your lap when you're starving.
My great uncle was basically robbed by his own daughter, and his daughter had money to begin with. She had power of attorney and sold everything he owned out from underneath him while his wife (her mother) was dying in the hospital of cancer. It took everything he had left to defend himself from becoming stuck in a home. I don't know the awful woman that did this to him, but obviously my great uncle thought he could trust his daughter (his daughter!) enough not to steal everything he owned and sell it. You cannot trust family. Honestly, I would rather set up a trust of some kind that is very explicit about my elder care, which has this durable power of attorney even if/when I'm not there anymore mentally. Blood is a terrible reason to make any business arrangement in our culture. We are trained to be lone wolves from the beginning in American culture. I don't understand how people can then years later come around and act like their children can be trusted not to be lone wolves when it comes to their care.
American culture puts a lot of emphasis on being self-sufficient, yes, but most of us aren't raised to put our needs ahead of what is right.
When my grandfather died a year ago, I found out that he and my grandmother had set up a special CD for my brother to get when they both die, but not one for me. My response was basically "Well, he has a wife and two kids, and he's a teacher. I'm single, working in IT, and living overseas. They obviously felt that he needs it more than I do, and they're probably right."
None of us are perfect, but a majority are still decent.
> We are trained to be lone wolves from the beginning in American culture. I don't understand how people can then years later come around and act like their children can be trusted not to be lone wolves when it comes to their care.
Well, presumably the parents knew how they raised their children and what examples they set.
And I really mean it by examples -- children pay a lot more attention to what their parents do than what they claim to do. E.g. I think I'd be fine trusting my future kids if they see me responsibly taking care of my parents. If not though, all bets are off.
But not something I'd be worried about when it comes to family. I think I can trust them enough for that.
The part that worries me is when people get pressed between a rock and a hard place. It is exceptionally difficult to keep your hands out of the honey jar sitting in your lap when you're starving.