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>An appreciation of and desire to be in nature is part of almost every society on the planet.

There are definitely differences between cultures when it comes to this, in particular when it includes raising children. Being German I actually got a lot of confused looks when we had American friends over and they noticed that young kids over here just go grab their bike, drive off and play in the nearby forest all day. They seemed totally shocked that ten year olds just run off and play in nature.



I think the US is an outlier there though, being a relatively low-trust society and somehow really fixated on threats, real or imaginary, especislly when it comes to children. But I guess helicopter parenting is a rather recent phenomenon even there; historically children above ten years or do were widely regarded as ”small adults” and expected to take care of themselves, help in all sorts of chores, and often to go to work as well.


60 years ago maybe, even in the 90s I ran the streets like a tiny hooligan without a care as long as I was back at home by the time dark came we were all good as long as I maintained my grades and chores. I know lots of parent like that around here, I'm sure the media would like you to think all parents are helicoptering in the USA but they really aren't.


Yeah, but that "10 years old go to work" workplaces were highly abusive. It was considered social problem and people who could afford otherwise did not had their 10 years old employed.


I feel like this lack of trust is a relatively new thing, in the last 25 years or so. I grew up in the US (suburban NJ, and later semi-rural MD) in the 80s and 90s, and it was completely normal for me to just yell "Mom, I'm going to Mike's!", hop on my bike, and ride down the street. When we lived in NJ I would walk to and from the school bus stop (maybe a half mile away) by myself every morning and afternoon.

Things took a turn for the weird by the time I was in college; one summer I wanted to take the bus up to NYC to visit a friend, and my mom (who, remember, had no problem with me just taking off on my bike when I was 8) was absolutely terrified that I'd be killed. She gave me her cell phone for the trip and insisted that I call her any time I were to leave or arrive somewhere. (This was all before 9/11.)

I don't remember any sharp change in her attitude toward this at any point, so I can only assume it was a gradual thing.


In fairness, Koch/Dinkins-era NYC (the 80/90s) was pretty gnarly, with far higher crime rates than today, so I'm not surprised your mom was worried. I also had free reign of my suburban NY neighborhood, but no way my parents would have let me go explore the city solo.


I did live in Manhattan for one summer in the mid-eighties when I was in grad school--quite a bit post-college. On the one hand, I (probably rationally) didn't worry about walking down Fifth Avenue or around the West Village late at night. On the other hand, there were definitely areas of the city where--if the kinda fear that if I screwed up with the metro express stops I'd be stepping out of the subway into a hail of bullets was not actually the case--I was probably also much safer to avoid certain areas. And something like 42nd Street late at night was pretty awful.


The war on terror had a huge price tag and there is no sensible opposition. Formerly mainly driven by conservatives, liberals now seem to be afraid of 14-year-olds on the internet with predictable results.

I hope saner and calmer voices prevail in the future.


I'm Canadian and when I was a child in the '80s, we absolutely just hopped on our bikes and wandered around without parental supervision.

I don't know how accurate it is, but there's this idea that child abductions and various other dangers (falling in an old well) in the late '80s, early '90s made parents more wary of letting their kids roam.


There was there Stranger Danger panic which of course was not based on anything substantial, but left lasting scars on society.

I strongly recommend the episode of the same name on the You're Wrong About podcast.


I was born in the early nineties in Quebec and we did just the same.

Then I got into computers and didn't see the light for a few years.


We used to do that in America when I was a kid. Then parents got scared and now “free range parenting” is a fringe idea.


Have things really changed so quickly? 15 years ago, basically all the boys in the neighborhood would hang out in the woods and catch frogs and whatnot. That said, I grew up in a safe neighborhood, so maybe it depends on the area.


I grew up going freely by myself most of the time, since I was 6/7 - even going to school (in ex-communist Bulgaria). Then in 1999 came to the US (Los Angeles), and start seeing the difference. But my first boss, who introduced me well to the society told me it wasn't so. He was growing up in the Valley (San Fernando) and going biking to school every day for miles. Also if you check the 80s movies - E.T., Goonies, and even now Stranger Things showing how it used to be - kids really used to roam the streets with bikes (same was in Bulgaria too - most of our kids movies were about parents going to the beach in the Summer, and kids in groups strolling around). Or my favourite kids' show - Verano Azul (spanish, and very popular in Bulgaria back in the days) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verano_azul - same thing - something changed much much later...


I’m a millennial and free range parenting wasn’t a term when I was growing up in American suburbs. I’m not sure what the norms are now. Seems to be a complete 180 degree shift that I don't think came from an even lower trust society than before.


I grew up in the 90s in a low-density suburb in Michigan and was allowed to bicycle around the neighborhood and hang out with other kids (although, I was also pretty introverted and usually not interested in that). I rode a school bus to school along with most of my classmates. That said, access to things like nature, shops and restaurants, and the library all required a car - not being able to access those independently made me feel somewhat restricted compared to how my parents described their childhoods (dad in a walkable college town, mom in a rural area where kids played in the woods) and compared to kids I read about in books.

One very noticeable recent-ish norm shift seems to be parents dropping off and picking up elementary and middle-school age kids at school. I don't know exactly when the trend started, but it seemed to hit critical mass after 9/11, and over the course of the following decade seemed to become the norm to the extent that suburban schools started remodeling their grounds and parking lots to accommodate a waiting line of parents in cars - something I've seen now in multiple states.


Sounds like you talked to one type of American. It’s not like there aren’t American kids who do that as well.


Did that change after the case (quite some years ago) a girl was abducted on her way home and the abductor wanted to ransom her but the underground room he built to hold her hostage was poorly ventilated and she died of CO poisoning and at least for a time some people became somewhat more concerned about their kids roaming freely?

Sometimes freak events have an oversized effect on people. In the US people used to park their baby strollers outside stores while they went shopping. One day, I think in the mid 50s, on Long Island, I believe, a family’s sleeping toddler in a stroller/pram was abducted and scared everyone from leaving their kids unattended in a stroller.


Yeah, Americans seem to believe that everyone under 15 is practically a toddler, anyone under 21 is like elementary school kid and everyone up to 26 is basically a child.


Unless you commit a crime or don't work/college past high school. Don't be a foster child and age out: You might just find yourself homeless.


Yeah, I find the dichotomy between "it is so much shame if you did not moved away past 19" for those with high school diploma only and "college students are basically kids" for supposed elite fascinating.




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