I wonder if you missed the joke in this one and took it literally? I don’t think he was intending to suggest it was literally actually scientifically rigorous evidence.
I have something of a tendency to take things literally online, but, also, it's becoming clear to me here lately that I sometimes miss friendly banter on HN because no one ever talks to me that way. If a guy here is being "friendly," you can pretty much bet dollars to donuts that he is really wanting to know if I will sleep with him, which makes it enormously difficult to figure out how to interact here "normally" and I sometimes don't know why in the hell I bother because it seems like a lose-lose scenario for me and maybe this entire thing is a giant waste of my time and will never be anything else.
What I said was I fail to correctly interpret friendly banter that occurs between other people here because it isn't something I first-hand experience.
Being ugly to me and people downvoting me and all this crap for stating that doesn't change it. It's just more evidence that people are all too often not friendly to me as an individual, so I stand by all of my above observations.
1. People here are not actually friendly to me. They are sometimes faux friendly while treating me like nothing but a piece of ass, which I deem to be predatory behavior, the opposite of friendly.
2. That fact makes it hard for me to correctly interpret friendly banter between other people when it does occur.
3. I continue to wonder if posting here is a giant waste of my time given the amount of ridiculous crap I get for no real reason other than posting as openly female.
I misunderstood that you were were talking about interactions here. You could probably tell that based on my response. I'm not 'being ugly to you' - and I know you might not be referring specifically to me. But misunderstandings like this happens, and it's nothing personal and you also shouldn't stress that much over.
Seeing how (to me) you overreacted to both my and '
zadokshi' comment with a long reply about your stress and how much you suffer from these interactions, I guess I would suggest you either stop posting here - at least for a while - to relax, or create a username that doesn't indicate your gender or real identity in any way.
In a side note, if I was on this level of stress and disappointment (sorry, english as second language and the best word here escaped my mind) in other people and and interaction with them, I would try to see someone to talk too.
Edit: BTW, you literally said 'if a guy here is being friendly...'
Edit: BTW, you literally said 'if a guy here is being friendly...'
Yes, I did and the very next set of words is the following qualifier:
you can pretty much bet dollars to donuts
It's not some kind of "all men" statement, but that's likely how a lot of people are interpreting it. It's a "I have to invest so much ridiculous energy in trying to not accidentally signal that I'm here hoping some random internet stranger will pick me up that it makes it hard as all hell to try to behave normally and talk normally and interpret things normally."
Anyway, I said I was leaving. This is my last clarification. All other "Wow, I can't believe people are so wildly misinterpreting my words" reactions will be kept to myself.
Have a nice Saturday. (Or whatever day of the week it is where you live.)
You said something people disagree with (and mostly being guys here) that proves the point.
Then you accuse friendly people of not being friendly and treating you like apiece of ass, admit you cannot recognize friendly banter, and accuse people of sexism.
If someone here is unfriendly to others, it's you.
But that's not workable for a long list of reasons that I'm both tired of trying to explain and tired of being told are not legitimate concerns or whatever. It boils down to this: men are not expected to hide their gender to participate online. Telling a woman to hide hers as a "solution" is dismissing her very real problems and compounding them.
It shouldn't be an offense worthy of being downvoted to hell to say "Yeah, I missed the joke for the following two reasons, one of which is no joking around allowed when talking to Doreen! Can't have that!
It's exhausting to have to err on the side of being excessively serious every minute I'm here because if I make the mistake of being my normal, friendly self, everyone wants my phone number so to speak.
Making that observation isn't me being a bitch, but getting downvoted to hell for it sure makes me sympathetic to the hords of women who openly hate on men and blame the conspiracy theory of The Patriarchy for all their ills.
Anyway, I need to go do other things. This is not a conversation I really want to have. At all.
Edited: Because auto-corrupt is the bane of my existence.
The main problem is that HN has no messaging feature, so people are probably skeptical of the claim that > 0 men are trying to hook up with you (or anyone else) on HN.
Pointing out a comment where this has happened would go a long way to bolster the claim.
Given the UI of Hacker News shows the username only in a tiny grey font that very few people read, has no profile pictures or DM functionality, I seriously doubt that most people being friendly here are trying to get into your pants. This isn't Twitter. Generally, I have no idea of the gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation of the people I interact with here unless it's explicitly mentioned in the comment to make a point.
