This feels pretty extreme. I was raised in the Midwest where everyone calls everyone 'guys.' Even if I could successfully stop saying it...why? It's very obviously meant with no ill intention.
The modern far left understanding is that intention doesn't matter one whit. Only outcome does. And if the outcome is that someone was offended, the only valid reason is that you are a bad person and should be made to feel bad -- ideally, as publicly as possible. Of course, this is only true if the offended party falls into one of a number of sanctioned buckets.
One of my favorite quotes, because it was so eye opening to me, was along the lines of "we judge ourselves by our intentions, but others by their actions."
I realized how true and unfair that is, and tried since to understand intentions before making judgment.
Frankly, anyone who tells me that is wrong will never convince me. Maybe I don't fit in this world anymore.
It's the purest of narcissism. When you say "intent doesn't matter", what you're actually saying is "you don't matter. The only thing that matters is how I feel about it". It's a manipulative trick used to invalidate everyone's feelings except your own. I'd expect it from a child, and it astonishes me that grown adults can't see through it.
I came to the US at 20 and was surprised girls used guys to refer to other a group of girls. I stored it like that and sparingly used it and nobody ever got visibly offended but now I can’t be certain. Now i have to erase it from my informal repertoire lest I offend someone or even worse get sued or something. As I i got older I find it hard to change these autopilot things. Again, I am not wishing to degrade anyone but am afraid someone will punish me for it. There are other examples that I could probably have a hard time unlearning as well and this only gives me more anxiety everytime I open my mouth in public. Im lucky Im somewhat a goofy person and blunders are forgiven easier but in these times one never know. Some anxiety is unavoidable these times and frankly I think this is a force that will drive groups of people apart
I've been trying to stop saying "you guys" to refer to groups of people because while I don't mean any harm, it's really not a big deal to prevent some potential discomfort to someone.
I think it's really hard to understand gender dysphoria if you haven't been through it. I haven't, but if I can prevent reminding them that some people don't see them as the gender they see themselves, I should make the small effort.
Having one of my direct reports mention that they are trans and that using "guys" to refer to the team made them feel left out was really all it took... you have to take people at their word at some level and "consider alternatives to 'guys'" is a pretty minor ask.
