An aside for future or present dad's (and all Parents.) There is so much joy and learning that happens with raising kids, that I think the secret is not fight it, but enjoy it. Almost sounds cliché, but embrace the experience. From the very beginning to when they are adults, to experience a window into your own life, a window into the world. These windows allow you to explore your surroundings and relationships with a different eye, with more understanding.
The best way to get into that zone, is to forget your own desires for a bit, forget your schedule. Just live in the moment of the kid (s). After you relax a bit, and surrender to their schedule, then all of a sudden you find opportunities for your time in between. But with passion and effectiveness. As mentioned below in a comment, you can be more focused, I believe because you are more relaxed. If you fight all the time to make 'your' schedule fit, you become frustrated. As you let go, you find a schedule that works, and with enthusiasm for that time to create and build. Cherish the moment with the kids, everything from diaper changing to eating, because they are a reflective window on your own soul, and a fresh mirror to the insanity if the world around you.
How do you let go of the things you want to do? I like to think that my side project is something only I could do, that the world needs but doesnt know it yet... so the thought of giving it up sends chills through me.
You seem to have a really nice outlook on things so I'd really appreciate any hints on how to reconcile this and get to where you are! (I dont have any kids yet)
For the vast, vast, majority of us, nothing that we do individually is important. Sure we work and provide some value to somebody somewhere, but if we didn't exist or didn't do that job, the world wouldn't be any worse off.
If you think otherwise, it's probably your ego lying to you.
And even still for those “others” - nothing individually they do is that important, it’s how the team they’ve assembled operates when the leader isn’t around... and as much as a belief system can anchor people into habits and behaviors, it’s still the deputies or vps of a cause that must maintain consistency in purpose...
That’s a long winded way of saying, no ones individual contributions are that important... it’s only through the concert of others that any person reaches those heights.
You can still do side projects when you’ve got kids. You just have to treat your priorities seriously, which usually means having to give up most of the netflix/social-media time. You also have to realize that in a two parent household, you don’t usually need both parents looking after the kids, and it’s better for both of you if you take turns (for your sanity AND for your free time).
It can, but it really depends on the personalities of you and your partner. It works best if your partner also has some independent work they need to get done (or enjoy doing, ex a hobby).
