There must be psychological studies of giving up somewhere, as it seems to be an increasingly common behavior and not limited just to men and marriage. From the "economic anxiety" of the (especially rural) US right to the "millennial malaise" that's slightly left if anything, it seems like people are giving up on college, good jobs, buying a house, relationships, and most especially all forms of government. Across the political and economic spectrum, you can hear people calling to tear it all down. You don't hear the people just quietly "dropping out" but they definitely exist too.
Note that I'm not criticizing or looking down on people for giving up. It's a rational response when you believe that the standards are being set unrealistically high or you're going to be blamed/condemned no matter what you do. Why expend your energy on a lost cause? Save it for something you can win. I've done it myself, and called it strategic thinking. Everyone who has quit a job or broken off a relationship has given up. What I'm saying is only that it seems more common than it used to be. People turn to it more quickly. So called "deaths of despair" have been trending upward for quite some time. "Lottery or nothing" thinking (ahem crypto) is everywhere. For people at the margins, teetering on the very edge between giving up vs. hoping against hope and soldiering on even though they expect to fail, the balance seems to have shifted more toward giving up.
What I'd like to understand is why. Have circumstances really changed in a way that generates more despair than before? Are there messages we as a society are sending that encourage giving up instead of persevering? I don't have the answer, but it seems like a far more general phenomenon than just absent fathers and it's not limited to one political or economic group.
Note that I'm not criticizing or looking down on people for giving up. It's a rational response when you believe that the standards are being set unrealistically high or you're going to be blamed/condemned no matter what you do. Why expend your energy on a lost cause? Save it for something you can win. I've done it myself, and called it strategic thinking. Everyone who has quit a job or broken off a relationship has given up. What I'm saying is only that it seems more common than it used to be. People turn to it more quickly. So called "deaths of despair" have been trending upward for quite some time. "Lottery or nothing" thinking (ahem crypto) is everywhere. For people at the margins, teetering on the very edge between giving up vs. hoping against hope and soldiering on even though they expect to fail, the balance seems to have shifted more toward giving up.
What I'd like to understand is why. Have circumstances really changed in a way that generates more despair than before? Are there messages we as a society are sending that encourage giving up instead of persevering? I don't have the answer, but it seems like a far more general phenomenon than just absent fathers and it's not limited to one political or economic group.