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who creates these expectations? It’s always some loose definition like “society” or “elite”, or some other handy wavy grouping of people.

I suggest reading the book "Manufacturing Consent" to get an understanding of how expectations are shaped by mass media.

Just like there was a concerted effort to create public support for war (WW1/WW2/Vietnam/etc.), there are concerted efforts to shape public opinion and create expectations within our broader culture about morals/values/etc. Sometimes it's explicit, and often times it's implicit and picked up via signaling cues (i.e. high status reporter says X, to go against X would mean no more invites to fancy dinner parties)



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