Congrats on getting yourself unstuck, OP. I left a job I was bad at and hated in 2021 to hike the Appalachian Trail. One of the best decisions I ever made.
> I was driven to actively contemplate suicide due to my boss and his shitty attitudes and issues but no one actually seemed to care.
I'm sorry to hear you were feeling this way. I hope that you have people in your life who care, even if not at work.
I also hope that in time, you can come around to the idea that your boss did not cause you to feel these things. It is a choice, even though it might not feel like one, to give other people control of our feelings. One of the things I like most about non-violent communication [0] is its emphasis that we feel things because our needs are or are not being met, and it's up to us to A) identify our needs, B) seek out situations and people that help us meet them, and C) not expect particular people to meet them if they can't or won't.
A workshop facilitator said, about his dad's inability to meet his need for emotionally honest dialogue: "I don't go into a hardware store expecting ice cream." That stuck with me.
> I was driven to actively contemplate suicide due to my boss and his shitty attitudes and issues but no one actually seemed to care.
I'm sorry to hear you were feeling this way. I hope that you have people in your life who care, even if not at work.
I also hope that in time, you can come around to the idea that your boss did not cause you to feel these things. It is a choice, even though it might not feel like one, to give other people control of our feelings. One of the things I like most about non-violent communication [0] is its emphasis that we feel things because our needs are or are not being met, and it's up to us to A) identify our needs, B) seek out situations and people that help us meet them, and C) not expect particular people to meet them if they can't or won't.
A workshop facilitator said, about his dad's inability to meet his need for emotionally honest dialogue: "I don't go into a hardware store expecting ice cream." That stuck with me.
Good luck.
[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21263894