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>Different people learn social skills differently. For me they were incredibly hard to learn...

Precisely. I like the introvert/extrovert description of recharges alone/recharges with other people. I grew up as a serious introvert, but my parents knew the value of social skills. One day my father turned it from a chore into an introvert-style learning exercise by framing it as a skill to be learned and not a quality to be had.

I joined the orchestra, got comfortable with public speaking, learned how to make small talk. I'm not a natural at it, but get by fine today, even in very public sales and lecture/teaching roles.

I still like to go home at the end of a day and recharge alone, but I can use it like a skill and it's been incredibly valuable.



I read your definition, and thought, "Yeah, I'm an introvert because I like to recharge alone." But then my next thought was, "Actually, it depends on how I'm feeling." Often I seek company because I like to recharge with other people.

Am I an extrovert or introvert? I don't feel like I'm in one or the other for the particular majority of time. I don't believe it's a great model for describing everyone.

For the record, I used to be shy but forced myself out of it. I also felt I had to learn new skills (sometimes a painful process), but I still don't believe I'm naturally either introverted or extroverted - neither really describe me or my behaviour.


It's a continuum, not a constant, and can definitely be based on the situation or who you're with.


I agree, there are some people, close friends & usually in small groups of 2 or 3 people, I love to spend lots of time with and don't feel worn down after spending time with them.

And in certain groups with a good vibe they can be incredibly fun.

But in the general case I'm definitely an introvert. A week of sales calls runs me into the ground by the end for example.




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