Initially I taught myself how to be social ("normal") by reading stuff online. For finding partners and dating in particular the "seduction" type subreddits etc are good. There's a lot of bullshit and misogynistic stuff but if you can deal with that the underlying truths are sound.

Meanwhile I improved my appearance by eating right, dressing right and getting a good haircut. Again, also tons of useful info online.

Then I just forced myself to go out and practice being social. Before long I realised I could do it, to some extent. There are still some things I can't do. I hate large gatherings and "mingling". Just can't do it and never found any good advice on how to do it. But it doesn't matter, it turns out you don't need to for finding a partner. There are plenty of women who are compatible with my social preferences.

Losing my virginity seemed like a huge deal at the time and it wasn't as easy as it should have been, but afterwards I realised I'd built it up in my mind to be something much bigger than it really is. Literal idiots have sex.

I've also used online dating a lot, but it wouldn't have been as fruitful if I hadn't done the above first.

I appreciate the detailed response though I was just thinking about your question about what “the problem” being solved for is so to speak. I think judicious use of benzodiazepines could be useful if one finds them so, but certainly they deserve great care. That said, they beat alcohol for safety and alcohol use is very common.

I suppose I’ve been through a similar process as you described above but I don’t think I ever really understood what I was supposed to get out of it and why I was doing it.

Yeah maybe. I don't know anything about benzos, but I did use MDMA once or twice. It did help quite a lot actually, and I haven't had to keep taking it or anything. I haven't touched alcohol in years. I would be cautious of anything that requires continued use, which is basically any pharmaceutical.