The way current masculine norms (as I experience them) expects me to be able to defend myself, is by projecting a capacity for retalitory violence.

I have nothing against this at the level of international relations. I will fight if article 5 is invoked. And on this level, building walls also makes sense.

My issue lies at the personal level. Men on average are too violent at this level, and the masculine ideals are to blame for that.