I too worked for an asshole, but not in the freelance capacity but as an employee. The worst part was he would recognize that he was an asshole and apologize all the time, only to go back to being an asshole soon after.
I always wanted to tell him that recognizing that you're an asshole and not breaking the behavior was worse than someone who's an asshole and doesn't know it.
I am, admittedly, one of those assholes. I don't characterize myself as rude (I keep my mouth closed when I chew, I stay away from others and doorways when I smoke, I hold doors open for people).
But, if you get in a conversation with me, I will take control. I tend to talk over people to get my point across (although I don't care whether you agree with me or not, not in an attempt to convince) and I tend to talk to much.
Lately, the past 3 months, I have walked away from many conversations thinking, "Damn, I didn't let them say anything. What an asshole."
Working on changing it - guess I just get caught up in the discussion.
I'm in a similar boat -- I'll happily be an asshole to those on the other side of the line, wherever I draw it. Usually it's in defense of someone I know, but that's all a matter, again of where I draw that line.
But yeah, I can really be an asshole in those situations. On the bright side, fear of being an asshole has made me learn some pretty good negotiation/people skillz.
I tend to be the same way, and I think that simply having an awareness that you're dominating the conversation is a big first step. What are some techniques that you use to stop yourself from stomping over everybody else, at least verbally?
My primary focus, for the time, has just been to not start talking until there is a breaking point in the conversation. I find that is what drives people up the wall the most - when they can't finish a thought because I am interjecting.
As I think on it, this has been a recent development. I wonder if it stems from my daughter starting to talk a year ago. My life has become a cloud of "uh uh", "yeah", "allright!" and generally sounding excited about completely unstimulating conversation. When I can have a discussion with someone that challenges me, it's very exciting and usually the highlight of my day.
Put a mark on your hand, in some way that you glance at it often, and remember to listen. Everyday, keep doing it. Has worked for me for breaking "bad habits".
I always wanted to tell him that recognizing that you're an asshole and not breaking the behavior was worse than someone who's an asshole and doesn't know it.