Great points. Permit me to expand on them slightly.
To some people, myself included, frank honesty is respectful. I could be alone here, but I can find passive-aggressiveness, needless euphemisms, and the like to be patronizing. Treating me with kid gloves is like saying, "I have an opinion, but I don't think you are emotionally mature enough to handle it in its raw form."
It's important for "jerks" to be conscious of how their behavior affects their relationships with coworkers. But it's equally important for "nice" people to do the same.
But also, I have encountered several people who considered themselves to be just honest all the while implying that the person they tried to help was stupid and beneath them, lazy and so on. If there is no close relationship between the two it will lead to misunderstandings and a very bad work environment very soon.
It's impossible (for most of us) to switch this context-reading off, therefore be very careful to use neutral language and emphasize what is not implied if it could be understood that way (unless you do try to tell the person they're stupid - of course you shouldn't lie).
I've had a team break up over this. One teammember used languange he thought was just honest, but managed to insult and demotivate everyone else by making them feel ignorant in everything they did.
TL;DR: It's good to be open and honest, but make sure subtext is not negative (you cannot have no subtext); unless maybe the person you're talking to knows you respect them anyway.
but you don't have the ability to control the other person's perceptions or references, and so you don't have control over subtexts. The BETTER solution is to just be honest, factually and emotionally. If you need to establish that you respect someone anyways (and you should, if they deserve it), you do that contextually outside of the sub-argument where you're 'being brutal', ideally, before, and after, and if there's an emotional misunderstanding, you work to fix it retrospectively. And part of this is, you probably shouldn't be 100% negative in all of your interactions (unless the project truly deserves no accolades) - if you do give out strong accolades when they are due, that is an equal part of being brutally honest.
> but you don't have the ability to control the other person's perceptions or references, and so you don't have control over subtexts.
Ah, within reason, you do, especially when people are as rational as we all aspire to be. Those people-skills books people recommend around here tell you how.
I agree with the rest of your post though, just, you can only fix so many emotional misunderstandings before the general atmosphere goes south. Sidestepping and ignoring several insults every time you try to discuss a problem becomes very unnerving after a while. Thing is, those people usually don't notice they're doing it. When you treat them the same way you feel they treat you, they feel hurt. Well, bad months, I should stop here.
To some people, myself included, frank honesty is respectful. I could be alone here, but I can find passive-aggressiveness, needless euphemisms, and the like to be patronizing. Treating me with kid gloves is like saying, "I have an opinion, but I don't think you are emotionally mature enough to handle it in its raw form."
It's important for "jerks" to be conscious of how their behavior affects their relationships with coworkers. But it's equally important for "nice" people to do the same.