The funny thing about your post is I just made like ten comments assuring people that sometimes a one-on-one, face-to-face meeting isn't always the best way to do firings, and your first anecdote speaks to that.
The other funny thing is that an employee I fired recently criticized me for not giving her notice and allowing her to be a dead-employee-walking with continued access to all corporate accounts and resources, even though I offered her a generous severance package in lieu of notice, which a couple commentators in the other thread seem to find objectionable, and your second anecdote validates the potential issues with giving notice to an employee involved in an involuntary change.
I think a lot of it stems from the general suckiness of having to fire people and our desire to try to minimize harm to others. But sometimes trying to take the approach we think has the most empathy in it ends up being the worst approach.
I've never had to bulk lay off people before, but based on my experience surviving a couple, the one that worked out the best for everybody was the "just do it" rip-off-the-bandaid all at once approach. The one on one approach just sewed terror into the entire office while it was happening.
It reminds me to this day of how horror stories work, with the long build up of expectations, waiting for management to make it to your end of the hall was the worst.
I've also learned, management 101, don't fire people with notice, ever. Not only was it terrible and humiliating to have witnessed, it opens you up to disgruntlement as the employee's emotions build up and down. Even somebody you don't think will do something, might, in a fit of anger at the unfairness of it all, do something stupid.
I think many of my former bosses were definitely devotees of the kind of HN "let's build a family and a cool place to hang-out, not a business" mentality that permeates lots of startup-land.
The other funny thing is that an employee I fired recently criticized me for not giving her notice and allowing her to be a dead-employee-walking with continued access to all corporate accounts and resources, even though I offered her a generous severance package in lieu of notice, which a couple commentators in the other thread seem to find objectionable, and your second anecdote validates the potential issues with giving notice to an employee involved in an involuntary change.
Seems your former bosses were HN devotees.