I'm always skeptical of these gatherings that pair up potential co-founders, because I see it as trying to match up singles at a bar. The quality of the people tends to be lower, and the relationships very rarely turn into marriage.
And when you're working on a startup, your co-founder is very much your spouse, both personally and legally. The thought of going to a cafe to look for my future spouse feels rather grim.
Sure, and if online dating (representative of your example of meeting singles with a pre-determined description) was unsuccessful, I would agree with you. Also, I'm not sure I see the example as completely congruous. At a bar, you're not really predisposed to a potential partner. In a search for a co-founder, what if you're looking for someone that really complements your skillset really well, or someone that has a clearly defined passion for your space?
I think that a lot of the dialogue about trusting cofounders and having them have been BFFs for life is grand, but not everybody gets that lucky. As far as go forth and hack is concerned, aren't we talking about the same thing, except in one case we're having discussion prior to working together, and the other you eliminate that step and get started.
It's not ideal-sure. But this is the toughest thing 99% of people have ever done. Why not use all available methods for success?
I generally agree, but do you have a better suggestion for how to meet a co-founder if you have a goal and no BFF who is all enthused about doing this with you?
I'm not impressed with online dating sites or the general practice of dating. I think there are inherent problems in spending time with someone for the express purpose of determining if they are long-term mate material. I think it actively encourages deception and game-playing. Both sides will seek to determine if the other is adequate to their needs while simultaneously putting on a facade to try to appear desirable. Many people hide information about themselves that they think might be a deal-killer early on in hopes that it won't be a deal-killer after sufficient attachment has occurred. Yet, America has a 50% divorce rate, so I would say what we are doing isn't working all that well.
I would assume this same paradigm largely applies to co-founder meet-ups. You will both be scoping each other out and both painfully aware of being scoped out and trying to hide anything you think will cause rejection while putting your best foot forward. (Ironically, you may be hiding something about yourself that would make you deemed "perfect" for the job but have no way of knowing that in advance.)
So the question becomes: What would work better? And if you can't answer that, then people will keep doing this (just like they keep dating) because it's basically all they've got.
I think it is a signal to noise filter issue. I was at Startup School this weekend and everyone I met was awesome in some regard. I'm sure lots of cofounders met for the first time and everyone expanded their network. You are right that many of these cofounder matching events become lame, they just need filters like the one at SS.
Somewhere accessible by train and car would be ideal. Downtown PA has, at best, mediocre freeway access and parking.
Somewhere quieter than a bar or pool hall might be more conducive to conversation.
As much as I'm ashamed to admit it, the "trendy" impression I have of Blue Chalk is a personal turn-off. Besides, I'd want my potential co-founder to be frugal enough to avoid such an establishment pre-funding.
Good point. We'll probably change the venue to something very quiet, once we find a better host. I asked Sun. Hacker Dojo is a good idea too, but we'd need to find a host (otherwise it's $100/month to be a member?).
Hacker Dojo is probably ideal. I hate having "real" discussions at Blue Chalk. It's decently quiet around 1pm, but it gets pretty loud around 5pm and later. So unless you guys hold it at a decently quiet venue, i probably won't bother attending.
Resumes are all fine and good, but it still takes time (as per my other comment) and real world experience together. Or at least that's what I've gathered from everything here that I've read about it...
And when you're working on a startup, your co-founder is very much your spouse, both personally and legally. The thought of going to a cafe to look for my future spouse feels rather grim.