No, you're combining a few different things that aren't related to IIA. For your first dining example, you've changed the relevant set of options to (A,A), (A,B), (A,C), (B,A), etc... where the first element is the diner's desert and the second is the partner's desert. IIA means that if (B,A) ≿ (A,B) in the original choice set, then it continues to hold when we add (Z,Z) as an option.
For the second case, you've made "good apple pie" and "bad apple pie" different elements of the choice set. And again, IIA implies that if "good apple pie" ≿ "cherry pie" that continues to hold when "bad apple pie" is an option. (And as an important aside, all cherry pie is of equal quality in this hypothetical.) Also note that it has nothing to do with the relative likelihood of different choices being delivered, so choosing to order something because you think another order is likely to be messed up is perfectly consistent with the IIA.
Arrow's impossibility theorem is a mathematical result, and IIA is a property of a mathematical representation of preferences. They have practical implications, but certainly don't imply that people in real life make transparently consistent choices.
For the second case, you've made "good apple pie" and "bad apple pie" different elements of the choice set. And again, IIA implies that if "good apple pie" ≿ "cherry pie" that continues to hold when "bad apple pie" is an option. (And as an important aside, all cherry pie is of equal quality in this hypothetical.) Also note that it has nothing to do with the relative likelihood of different choices being delivered, so choosing to order something because you think another order is likely to be messed up is perfectly consistent with the IIA.
Arrow's impossibility theorem is a mathematical result, and IIA is a property of a mathematical representation of preferences. They have practical implications, but certainly don't imply that people in real life make transparently consistent choices.